Need You Now

I want to talk with my best friend.....the best friend that I married long ago. I'm having trouble reaching out to him. I feel alone. I need him now, but I can't....just can't....because he's the reason I hurt. I've cried another hundred tears tonight. It came out of nowhere. Things have been fine....really fine. Maybe this is why. I'm not ready for things to be fine. I want to bitch someone out...him....because I haven't been able to. He needed help, so I got strong. I want to be vulnerable. I want someone to hold me and let me sob. I want to be taken care of....but, I'm the caregiver. I want to be fragile and broken on the outside because this is how I feel on the inside. I wonder how long I'll be able to keep this up. I'm learning how to be two faced so well now....I'm afraid I won't be able to be one person again. I'm afraid of being forced to keep on a brave face because I have people that depend on me. I don't want to fail them....I came close enough to failing them. I feel like saying, "This isn't fair!", but I know I can't. It would be immature or the naive thing to say because we all know life isn't fair. I still really want to say it though. I want to shout it from a rooftop or to David's face....or maybe to my therapist. She told me it wouldn't be the best idea to tell David how I feel right now b/c "We don't want him to become suicidal again."  It's not fair.

It's not fair.
                   It's not fair.                       
                                                                                                                 It's not fair.




IT'S NOT FAIR!!!!

And I still feel like an idiot for saying it. I need something....I need....just not sure what.



 
Picture perfect memories scattered all around the floor
Reachin' for the phone 'cause I can't fight it anymore
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind
For me it happens all the time

It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now
Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now
And I don't know how I can do without
I just need you now

Another shot of whiskey can't stop looking at the door
Wishing you'd come sweeping in the way you did before
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind
For me it happens all the time 

It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk and I need you now
Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now
And I don't know how I can do without
I just need you now

woah woaaah.

Guess I'd rather hurt than feel nothin' at all

It's a quarter after one I'm all alone and I need you now

And I said I wouldn't call but I'm a little drunk and I need you now

And I don't know how I can do without 

I just need you now

I just need you now (wait)

Ooo, baby, I need you now