I'm going to try. I'm going to try and break free from this depression. This is very hard....so hard. I've been sleeping a lot...anywhere from 10-12 hours. I went to sleep at 9:30 lastnight and slept 10 hours. I feel pretty good physically right now. I got up and made coffee. I'm not a regular morning coffee drinker, but it seemed like the "morning" thing to do and I have some Guatemalan beans right now. I love using my coffee grinder. So, I made coffee. Then I made myself 2 hormone free eggs w/ cheddar and salsa, slice of whole wheat bread w/ a little extra virgin olive oil, side of grapes, and 2 turkey sausage patties. I'm alotting myself 30min. on the computer to catch up on email and social networking sites. I'm alotting time for this b/c this is my accountability. Also, I've been on Chantix again. Yes, and please don't go off on me.....I started smoking again. My quit day is the 22nd. I let my daughter pick it....she said it would be a good day to quit since it's the first day of autumn. It's also the day after my b-day. I turn 30 on the 21st. I'm hoping my b-day won't completely suck....considering I'm in the middle of the toughest thing I've ever went through.
I'm going to take a shower in a few minutes rather than wait till the end of the day or up until I need to go somewhere. I need to get back to my regular way of doing things....the regular way of doing things when I was doing well, anyway. I need to feel good again. Then I will attempt to clean more of my house. I would be so happy to have this crap done today....totally. So, I'm taking baby steps....I could use some encouragement....even if it's only me blogging this for the accountability. This is an ecouragement in itself b/c it means that I am serious....serious again about getting back on the horse. Yay for me. Do I sound enthusiastic? (sigh)
PS- I've already went over my 30min. Dammit. (sigh) Oh, and this is one of my favorite songs/music videos of all time. I hope you love it too. :)