I have lots of things I want to say right now, but I'm mad, pouting, and in a downright bad place. Meanwhile, I'm still in a load of pain too from the TMJ. I have another appointment with a doc tomorrow morning. I've been setting up my sparkpeople and now I'm getting aquainted with my diet journal. I've gained more than a few pounds now so I've got to jump back on the damned horse. I'm sick of feeling sorry for myself and so sick of waiting to be supported by the one I love. I'm in charge of me and I'm responsible for me...with or without support. So, stick around....I'm about to break loose and it's gonna be some good reading....I assure you. I've been reading some of your blogs. I've left a few comments, but I'm having to be careful b/c the muscle relaxants are making me stupid. Don't wanna piss anybody off. Tami at Nutmeg Notebook...I came to your blog and looked at some of your newer posts, but I didn't leave a comment. I just want you to know. I feel so bad I've not been able to comment on as many blogs as usual here lately. Anyway, see you all soon....hopefully new and improved. It may be a couple or few days, but just know behind the scenes....I'm preparing and working some things out.
Had enough,
Kim
Saving My Life
Anything I post on here about PCOS or any other condition, is general information or information I've accumulated in my experience having PCOS or other conditions. I'm not a doctor, so nothing I say should EVER take place of a real diagnosis from your doctor. My eating plan described on this blog is one I've made for myself and I'm constantly changing it according to my body's needs.
Some food for thought... don't know if it will help or not. One of the people I follow posted recently on her blog that she finally came to the realization that her problems weren't going anywhere and she decided that instead of pushing against them, she would start pushing more love towards them. Don't know if that resonates with you, but if it helps, use it. Hope you feel better soon.
ReplyDeletebe a free wheel burning baby..people tend to jump on or get the heck out of the way.
ReplyDeleteI absolutely know exactly how you feel. I got sick after a while of crying and pouting that I wasn't getting my needs met and then I finally got mad at myself for self-pity. I have a brain, I have health, I have talent...I can get what I need. I never ever want to hand over my life and my self-esteem to someone else to dole it out or discard it. It's up to me. I earn it--I gain self-esteem. I depend on someone else for it--I am a child. You get it--you're 3/4 of the way there!
ReplyDeleteHey Kim, no worries about not leaving comments. It sounds like you have plenty to deal with right now and you have my prayers that all will get resolved soon.
ReplyDeleteHang in there!
Thanks Chris, I think I had been telling myself to just go back to the way things were b/c my husband seems happier with me when I'm doing that. I know now that is the wrong thing. Your words were good to hear....it's almost like I needed to give myself permission to resume with my diet or something. I know...sounds dumb, but I have felt a lot of unworthiness here lately.
ReplyDeleteI'm with you, Kim. I decided I could either pout and be all butt-hurt about my husband doubting me/not supporting me. Or I could get out and DO THIS SHIT, for me (and, reluctantly, for him too, damnit!). Just so you know, you're not alone.
ReplyDelete