Some Things I've Noticed and Deep Thoughts

Ok, so while I'm going through my next big life change, I mentioned I might be maintaining for a little bit.  Oh, sidenote by the way, there is a new post before this one. I posted two entries at once so just wanna let you know in case you missed the other one. So, in the meantime I'm going to share some Non Scale Victories I've noticed here lately. Some of them particularly are ones I almost didn't want to share b/c they're a bit embarassing, but one thing I admire about many of the blogs I read is the way people truly put themselves out there....showing the good,bad, AND the ugly. So, here it is. I started this journey with 390 lbs. My hands would tingle and my ring and pinky finger were partially numb. I went through a long phase of just getting dizzy while standing. I got a huge blister on my leg where a childhood scar was...a sore that took almost 2 months to heal. I got to the point where I had to find new positions to wash myself properly and "sanitize" properly while in a public restroom. (That one is super embarassing) Then there was an episode while I was driving...my chest started hurting and I became really dizzy. You'd think I would have went to the hospital, but stupid me just bargained with God to let me live and I'd change. It took getting the sore to really scare me...stupid huh? I don't know why it was that, but I let it be that and started the change. I've lost 27.4lbs. since January 11th and when I went grocery shopping the other day I had a non-scale victory that made me smile. I was grocery shopping and needed to go to the restroom and didn't have to get into any weird position to "get the job done". It seems like such a small thing and I haven't lost a lot of weight yet, but man it made me happy. Then I realized something else...the numbness in my fingers went away, no weird dizziness, no chest pains, no sores, and no fear of public restrooms anymore...only 27.4lbs. I think looking at the big picture makes this whole process seem so daunting, but even just a little weight lost can mean getting some portion of our normal lives back along with some of our health. Taking it a pound at a time and one small change at a time is really working for me. I feel like I've already had more success this year than the past 5 years put together. Wow.
  Ok, so I had to tell someone and I couldn't tell anyone around here so I thought I'd share with you fine folks b/c I think it's safe to say we're all thankful for every jot and tittle of success on this journey. So yay! I can wipe my ass without getting into a funny position in a public restroom!! Ok.....I'm done now....you may proceed with much laughter. :oP
  I do have to end this post on a serious note though...b/c all of this is serious. Don't wait for some big life changing disease, illness, the inability to wipe your ass normally in a public bathroom stall, to change your life (I say "change your life" instead of "lose weight" since I am trying to conquer addiction as well). I always operated under the premise that I'm young, I have plenty of time, it's just too hard, my body just won't cooperate b/c of PCOS, "It's in my genes and I can't change that", and "I can live with being fat...I carry my weight well."  Well, I'll tell you now....those things were a bunch of crapshoot excuses. This is one life we have and everything we do in every minute of the day determines how long we may get to live this one life. I know that may sound dramatic and a little bit "butterfly effect", but really....let's be real. Some people say, "When it's our time to go, it's our time to go", but would I decrease my chance of life threatening lung cancer if I quit smoking?? Of course!! So, I think it's pretty easy to say if we eat junk ALL the time, it's going to increase our chances of disease. We have children, families, and friends that depend on us. I imagine their faces at my funeral in the moments I feel weak...yeah, a bit morbid, but I have EVERYTHING to lose if I don't stay serious. They lose too if I lose...plain and simple. So, how truly trivial is it when we have a binge episode? It's not trivial b/c those are minutes we could be taking from our families. I want to add minutes onto my life. Do you?

PS- This post truly is a self imposed pep talk. I am not a preacher in a pulpit and certainly not an expert. Everything I say on here is to remind me....to remind me to be serious and stay serious. So, I promise...this is not directed at anyone but me, but if you get something from it then I'm glad I put it out there. :) Blessings to you.