Saving My Life

Anything I post on here about PCOS or any other condition, is general information or information I've accumulated in my experience having PCOS or other conditions. I'm not a doctor, so nothing I say should EVER take place of a real diagnosis from your doctor. My eating plan described on this blog is one I've made for myself and I'm constantly changing it according to my body's needs.

Monday, April 12, 2010

Some Things I've Noticed and Deep Thoughts

Ok, so while I'm going through my next big life change, I mentioned I might be maintaining for a little bit.  Oh, sidenote by the way, there is a new post before this one. I posted two entries at once so just wanna let you know in case you missed the other one. So, in the meantime I'm going to share some Non Scale Victories I've noticed here lately. Some of them particularly are ones I almost didn't want to share b/c they're a bit embarassing, but one thing I admire about many of the blogs I read is the way people truly put themselves out there....showing the good,bad, AND the ugly. So, here it is. I started this journey with 390 lbs. My hands would tingle and my ring and pinky finger were partially numb. I went through a long phase of just getting dizzy while standing. I got a huge blister on my leg where a childhood scar was...a sore that took almost 2 months to heal. I got to the point where I had to find new positions to wash myself properly and "sanitize" properly while in a public restroom. (That one is super embarassing) Then there was an episode while I was chest started hurting and I became really dizzy. You'd think I would have went to the hospital, but stupid me just bargained with God to let me live and I'd change. It took getting the sore to really scare me...stupid huh? I don't know why it was that, but I let it be that and started the change. I've lost 27.4lbs. since January 11th and when I went grocery shopping the other day I had a non-scale victory that made me smile. I was grocery shopping and needed to go to the restroom and didn't have to get into any weird position to "get the job done". It seems like such a small thing and I haven't lost a lot of weight yet, but man it made me happy. Then I realized something else...the numbness in my fingers went away, no weird dizziness, no chest pains, no sores, and no fear of public restrooms anymore...only 27.4lbs. I think looking at the big picture makes this whole process seem so daunting, but even just a little weight lost can mean getting some portion of our normal lives back along with some of our health. Taking it a pound at a time and one small change at a time is really working for me. I feel like I've already had more success this year than the past 5 years put together. Wow.
  Ok, so I had to tell someone and I couldn't tell anyone around here so I thought I'd share with you fine folks b/c I think it's safe to say we're all thankful for every jot and tittle of success on this journey. So yay! I can wipe my ass without getting into a funny position in a public restroom!! Ok.....I'm done may proceed with much laughter. :oP
  I do have to end this post on a serious note though...b/c all of this is serious. Don't wait for some big life changing disease, illness, the inability to wipe your ass normally in a public bathroom stall, to change your life (I say "change your life" instead of "lose weight" since I am trying to conquer addiction as well). I always operated under the premise that I'm young, I have plenty of time, it's just too hard, my body just won't cooperate b/c of PCOS, "It's in my genes and I can't change that", and "I can live with being fat...I carry my weight well."  Well, I'll tell you now....those things were a bunch of crapshoot excuses. This is one life we have and everything we do in every minute of the day determines how long we may get to live this one life. I know that may sound dramatic and a little bit "butterfly effect", but really....let's be real. Some people say, "When it's our time to go, it's our time to go", but would I decrease my chance of life threatening lung cancer if I quit smoking?? Of course!! So, I think it's pretty easy to say if we eat junk ALL the time, it's going to increase our chances of disease. We have children, families, and friends that depend on us. I imagine their faces at my funeral in the moments I feel weak...yeah, a bit morbid, but I have EVERYTHING to lose if I don't stay serious. They lose too if I lose...plain and simple. So, how truly trivial is it when we have a binge episode? It's not trivial b/c those are minutes we could be taking from our families. I want to add minutes onto my life. Do you?

PS- This post truly is a self imposed pep talk. I am not a preacher in a pulpit and certainly not an expert. Everything I say on here is to remind remind me to be serious and stay serious. So, I promise...this is not directed at anyone but me, but if you get something from it then I'm glad I put it out there. :) Blessings to you.


  1. Wow! I just took a deep breathe after finishing this post. Kudos to you for posting this. A non scale victory like THIS ONE is what keeps us going and aspire for more I guess. :-) I can't wait to experience some myself.

    I had/have imprisoned myself with a bunch of 'crapshoot excuses' as well. Working slowly towards getting out of it.

    Will be around to follow your journey. :-)

  2. Thanks R.P., and working slowly will win this journey. I'll be following your journey too. :)

  3. Great nonscale victory! I am all about improving my health and my life and being around for my family for as long as God lets me here!

  4. That is why I write the posts I write. It keeps me on track. It's what I believe,but putting the words out into the universe helps cement them in my mind.

  5. I have not tried the cleanse. Have heard of it though. My Gastroentrologist has ordered me to leave my Gallbladder alone and be on a good diet as of now. The staple proteins used in South India (where I stay) is lentils. They are easy to digest and doesn't trigger my IBS. Soy does bother me :-( I limit it to once a week. I am planning to try sprouts and nuts in limited quantities.

    Thank you again Kim. Nice to have you around :-)

  6. Kim, posts like these are always more helpful to people than you realize. I found that out myself. Also, it's great to find out you're not the only one with any particular problem or obstacle.
    Congratulations on the No Weird Positions Victory!!! lol Good going!

    And great job on those almost 28 lbs gone!

  7. Thanks guys to all of your encouragement. :)

  8. Good work Kim, I can relate to the dizziness and tingling/numbness in my arms... especially while sleeping, oh and the chest pain (hadnt quite got to the toilet thing yet, though if I got any bigger I can see it becoming a problem). Thanks for reminding me that I can look forward to seeing these go away. I enjoy reading your posts.

  9. Sorry to hear about your emergency surgery. I can imagine how tough that would have been with a baby and all. Naturopathy is a system of medicine I strongly believe in and if I come across some realistic remedies for digestive issues, I will pass it on! Worth a try! :-)