I am mostly sitting b/c I did something to my back while vacuuming. I'm waiting till Friday for the chiropractor to look at my xrays to make sure one of my floating ribs is still in place?? I don't know. lol. Anyhoo, I'm on the third round of antibiotics---really powerful antibiotics b/c my doc still thinks I have a major sinus infection. I don't think she knows what she's talking about....but I'm humoring her b/c it's less money to do so. At least we'll know for sure before getting any expensive scans done. I still really think most of this is a nerve related issue. Yes, it feels like I have something in my sinuses, but I'm not totally sure that it's not nerve related too. I discovered when I press on a certain nerve in my neck, it makes me feel extreme sinus pressure and will actually make my nose feel stuffy. Weird huh? I'm on like 5 different medicines right now. I started a medicine for neuralgia...medicine for migraines. It helps a little. All the medicine is affecting my brain though. I was driving to the chiropractor the other day....forgot where I was going and ended up at the library. This is the 3rd or 4th time in the past couple weeks that I've done this. Not good. lol Anyway, had a good mini-vacay with my family. David and I argued before we left. He started doing some house work...not out of love or concern...b/c he was aggravated with me. Also, b/c he thinks I've been faking how bad my pain is. I could have kicked him in the nads. He's seen me crying over the pain. He's seen me take more drugs than I ever have and he knows how much I loathe taking meds. You'd think that would convince him....or even the fact I was doing so well before all of this happened. He eventually apologized for once again not communicating with me, lieing about the way he felt the day before, and for thinking I'm faking. The thing is....before the apologies, he had me feeling like scum. I was convinced that I'm the bad spouse....again....right after I had actually stopped making my dinner so I could make him dessert just b/c I love him. I caught myself falling into old thought patterns....old patterns alltogether. Started wondering if he plans this or if its all in my head.....or maybe he's oblivious. The thing is he admits he knows his behavior plays with my mind....he knows it. He told me, but he doesn't mean to he says. I've so got to learn how to rise above this crap....not letting him affect me the way he does. Isn't it funny how the ones we are in love with can push our buttons the most? Well, I hope he's being sincere. I've tried explaining to him how certain housework makes me hurt, but I understand his side of things too. He works hard and he needs me to keep things going at home. So, that's why I tried vacuuming today....it worked out so well. Oh, and the back pain is on the left side of my body....where I'm having all the other issues. I'll be sitting on the couch waiting for my x-rays to come in. Yay. David was sick for several months one time. I took care of him and never accused him of faking. Of course I hoped he'd get better soon, but never once did I think he was faking. He wasn't as sick as I am now and I took care of him....no questions asked. I asked him if he believes I'm faking a back injury too. He said no. We'll see.
I really want things to be good b/t us. We had a great vacay and a great anniversary. I made him steak...he was happy. I was happy b/c he spent time w/ me. Why can't everything be so simple? Hmm. Hope all of you are doing well. I'll be back soon hopefully...it may be several days. Take care. ☺