Thanks Guys and Update

Ok, so I've been doing the thing you told me "Shrinking Family". Also, I haven't blogged about it yet, but I did let my voice be heard by my husband....I think he heard me loud and clear. I basically told him to change or I'd leave him. I've pretty much been tired of worrying over him when he absolutely refuses to support me and share a deep heartfelt intimacy w/ me after all these years together. June 15th will be 9 years we've been together and he grows further from me everyday. I just kinda felt like he's had all these expectations of me, but I wasn't allowed to have any for him, yet he could walk all over me...and at the end of the day I'd still take care of him when he gets sick. He'd constantly remind me of how bad off I'd be without him....I finally told him I didn't care. I told him I used to be a single mom and I survived back then on way less....and I could do it again....so he shouldn't tempt me. ;) I slept in the living room for many nights, so he knew I meant business. He did apologize for everything which is good, but I'm not going to take his apologies just at face value. I'm looking for deep seeded change....so, we shall see. I feel stronger and I finally feel like I was heard. It was nice. I finally said everything I've wanted to him in the past good while. He actually listened. I think he was more willing to listen b/c I didn't come across as threatening. It was his b-day and I made it a very nice day for him. He actually shed tears over it....I think it reminded him of how good I have been to him regardless of my flaws. You are very intuitive I must say and thanks for your kind motherly words. ((hugs)) And Kyle, chiropractor is actually on my to do list....I haven't been in a while and I know it'd help me. ☺ PJ, thank you for your feedback especially b/c I actually have come across the first one you told me about....with the neuralgia. At least I know now I'm not crazy in considering it. Also thanks for the suggestion after that one. I have not heard of that one....going to look into it more. I have been thinking an ENT may be better suited or neurologist. I'm not sure. I have to make a couple calls tomorrow and get in with a chiropractor. Oh, and PJ thanks for telling me about your TMJ b/c the dentist I'm currently seeing told me he's never seen such acute pain with TMJ, so he doubts that TMJ is the culprit. Why can I find most of my symptoms w/ TMJ online but can't find a doc who believes in these symptoms for TMJ?? I'm hoping and praying for relief soon. This is some pain I'm in. I can touch the left side of my face or turn my head in a few different directions....and it causes a huge pain attack. It takes almost nothing for me to be in writhing pain. When I'm in pain, lights and little sounds make me feel like clawing my eyes and ears....it hurts so bad. I'm taking so much ibuprofen, muscle relaxants, Excedrin migraine, and penicillin. I'm afraid of what all this medicine is doing to my body, but it's the only way I can get relief for a few hours. I've also been spending a lot of time on the couch....which I hate. I want to start Zumba, yoga, and my friend just found water aerobics....1 dollar per class!! I want to go Tuesday, but considering the pain gets worse everyday and medicine is beginning to become ineffective against it, I doubt I'll be going. :( I was doing so well. I've become so derailed in the past month. Between David being sick most likely, marital troubles, and the pain issues....I'm feeling pretty down right now. I was doing so well. I'm gaining weight back in the form of being laid up and so much inflammation right now....holding tons of fluid...ugh. I've not eaten as well too. I think I'm going to start doing some juicing. I've got a juicer I haven't used yet. I'm going to look up foods to fight inflammation, so if you know of any juice combinations or just whole foods that are good for inflammation, please let me know. It would be so helpful. Thanks to all of you for your comments and suggestions.....they were EXACTLY what I needed. Everything else may not be going super well right now, but I'm holding onto two things....my babies and I'm not a smoker anymore. Not smoking is my accomplishment I keep hanging onto. It feels good. And every time I look at my babies, I know I did it for them and I become overjoyed at the prospect of living longer just to be around them. Kisses and hugs....the joy they bring....how could anyone choose a cigarette over that? Well, I mean, I know how one chooses it....I'm just glad my addiction is gone, b/c honestly addiction is a form of insanity and I want to be a sane person for my children. ☺☺☺ Shouldn't we all be striving for this in our weight loss journeys too? ((hugs)) to all of you. I feel like I have the most wonderful support network through this blog. It's good to know ALL of you.