I always thought losing weight was what I do to get to the point where I love myself, but the thing is, if we wait for the weight to come off and think somehow we'll magically love ourselves...we'll end up very disappointed. I did this when I was a teenager and even when my body was at an almost normal weight, I still thought I was so fat and ugly. I look back at those pics and wish I could tell that girl how beautiful she was. :)
I think some people automatically assume fat people have super low self esteem and while it's very typical, it's not always the case. I love myself more now than I did when I was a teenager. The first pic I posted was of a girl who did things to fit in with the crowd, she made sores on her chest to punish herself, she'd lay balled up in the bathroom floor crying...just to cry..b/c she felt so alone. The lady in the second picture thinks she's pretty damn hot for a fatty. lol. She also likes her hair and her really blue eyes. She loves the roundness of her face and the fullness of her lips. She likes her singing voice and isn't afraid to sing in front of people. She doesn't get embarassed very easily and she doesn't like being pushed around. She thinks she's right a lot of the time and doesn't mind letting her husband know it. lol. She used to think skinny girls were the ones who got all the action. This fat lady can tell you otherwise. B/c of my confidence, I think many people see around my fat. I mean...sure...yeah, they notice I'm fat, but they find the treasure once they get to know me. Ok, enough speaking in the third person. lol. Anyway, you get what I'm sayin. LOVE yourself for where you are at NOW.....not when you've taken the weight off. ((hugs)))
Breakfast: 1c. Kashi shredded wheat, 1small banana, 1c. milk
Lunch: Ah crap, I'm realizing now I have my food log messed up. I posted yesterday's as the 29th. Ok, I'm gonna nix this food log and resume tomorrow so I can figure out how I lost track. I think I'm gonna have to write this stuff down AND blog it. lol
Have a great weekend! I might not be back tomorrow since Joey and Niki are here. I will try to do a Niki and Joey post b/c I know some people think those are pretty funny....I even figured out how to get the video of Joey dancing on here. You'll have to turn your head to the side to view it, but still....funny. ☺
You know, I think it's where you find your worth. When I was a 5'8" size 2/4 and living in LA, I wouldn't go to the beach because I was self conscious about my body, even though I was my modeling weight and people kept telling me to eat something. I really wasted those great years living near the beach fixating on my small breasts and my athletic legs. Now, being overweight, I think what a waste that was. If I were only my looks, I wouldn't have developed my intelligence and my loving nature and my talents and my sense of humor, but I knew I was more than my looks, thank goodness. Now, being overweight, the other aspects I developed help me to not feel so out of whack. Before, my looks were my only content. That's so sad.
ReplyDeleteI agree fully with what you say. I have found more worth in this current phase of life than I did when I was young. I totally get what you mean. For me, I was never satisfied or content with the way I looked. Even though my body is out of whack now, I feel normal in my head and that's what keeps me going. For me, it's like "Ok, you are just fine in your mind...time to show it on the outside." lol
ReplyDeleteYes - If a person thinks they will be happy when the weight is off....
ReplyDeleteThey will be disappointed twice! We take ourselves with us.
Perhaps the question is, "Who it is that we think we are?"
If we think we are our past self, we are doomed to depression.
If we think we are our future self, we are asking for angst or anxiety.
It's all about this present moment, cliche, but true!
So easy to say....sometimes slippery to grasp and hold onto!
Do you do MLD for the lymph? Does it work for you?
This is a huge mental journey and much of it is "pain management" No other way around it...you have to look at the whole picture as you work to get healthy...you are doing it...and that is what counts.
ReplyDeleteHi Anne, I have had MLD before when I was pregnant with my son. It's a bit hard for me to do myself and I was never good with wearing the leg wrappings. I'm terribly claustrophobic and for some reason the leg wrappings always made me feel confined and smothered. My husband would have to distract me with video games while he wrapped me b/c I hated it so much. So, I have compression stockings and that's about all I do...and I watch my sodium intake. :)
ReplyDelete@Kyle--Yes, that's what counts. :)
Whooo hooo! Girl! Tell it!
ReplyDeleteI'm proud of ya!