I'm still nicotine free....well, technically. I talked with a friend all night long. This friend is unlike my other friends in many ways and I was able to admit some things that have only been running through my head. Some of those things I'm a bit ashamed of....and I will blog about it soon. I enjoyed my long conversation with my friend from highschool. Oh, the memories that flood back to what I thought was my hardest times, but now that I'm grown up I realize things were simpler back then. Anyway, after the sun rose, we said goodbye and I lit one. I took one drag...said, "Ewww" and threw it away. Thank God for Chantix. Thank God that once again I've reaffirmed to myself why I hated it so much. So, yeah, a screw up, but a victory as well. I NEVER throw cigarettes away....but in this case I did. I've just got to blog about these things that have been bothering me. I was a little shaky after the conversation, thinking to myself, "Oh my gosh, I can't believe I said out loud what I've been thinking." Anyway, I stopped by a few blogs and left this comment on one and it was a nice reminder to myself about self love. So, I'm posting this for myself and if it helps anyone struggling with self love, then that will be a bonus.
I think some people automatically assume fat people have super low self esteem and while it's very typical, it's not always the case. I love myself more now than I did when I was a teenager. The first pic I posted was of a girl who did things to fit in with the crowd, she made sores on her chest to punish herself, she'd lay balled up in the bathroom floor crying...just to cry..b/c she felt so alone. The lady in the second picture thinks she's pretty damn hot for a fatty. lol. She also likes her hair and her really blue eyes. She loves the roundness of her face and the fullness of her lips. She likes her singing voice and isn't afraid to sing in front of people. She doesn't get embarassed very easily and she doesn't like being pushed around. She thinks she's right a lot of the time and doesn't mind letting her husband know it. lol. She used to think skinny girls were the ones who got all the action. This fat lady can tell you otherwise. B/c of my confidence, I think many people see around my fat. I mean...sure...yeah, they notice I'm fat, but they find the treasure once they get to know me. Ok, enough speaking in the third person. lol. Anyway, you get what I'm sayin. LOVE yourself for where you are at NOW.....not when you've taken the weight off. ((hugs)))
Breakfast: 1c. Kashi shredded wheat, 1small banana, 1c. milk
Lunch: Ah crap, I'm realizing now I have my food log messed up. I posted yesterday's as the 29th. Ok, I'm gonna nix this food log and resume tomorrow so I can figure out how I lost track. I think I'm gonna have to write this stuff down AND blog it. lol
Have a great weekend! I might not be back tomorrow since Joey and Niki are here. I will try to do a Niki and Joey post b/c I know some people think those are pretty funny....I even figured out how to get the video of Joey dancing on here. You'll have to turn your head to the side to view it, but still....funny. ☺