Ok, so I've only told my parents a gazillion times each that I blog. This is usually how it goes: "Oh Kim, I'm so proud you're losing weight. How are you going about it this time?" I say, "I'm blogging. I've got an awesome community of people who are doing the same thing I'm trying to do and we support eachother." They say, "Oh, well that's nice." Well, my mom called me today and I told her what my loss is up to now b/c the last time she and I talked I was like at...20lbs. I think. (That's how often we talk). Well, she was really happy for me. I told her sorry for not replying to her last email. She sent me a forwarded daily devotion that I subscribe to as well and told me the lady who wrote it has a blog support group for weight loss. Then I told her I've been on the website and it's good, but I like my community better. Then she's like, "Oh, what are you talking about?" Then I'm like, " Remember Mom??? I told you I have a weight loss blog of my own and followers and people I follow and we are all like one happy family who supports eachother." (See how talking to my mom takes me back to teenage mode? I do. not. know. why. "rolls eyes") She says, "Oh! I didn't know YOU have a blog. I thought you meant you just look at them." (This is the part where I'm wondering why God gave me full lips and a loud voice since neither of them make people listen to me HALF the friggin time anyway...lol..see? I'm still in teenager mode...total drama queen here :oP) I say, "Yes Mom, I've told you I have a blog many times now." She says, "Well, send me the address so I can look at it." Long pause------ (the sound of crickets) I say, "Umm...I'm not sure Mom. I kinda share a lot of personal stuff there. Let me think about it." She says, "Ok, I understand." (sigh)
I should add, my mother kinda stays in her own world for the most part. I love her and she definitely has great qualities like a good mother does, but she just doesn't usually make an effort to be a big part of my life. So, I feel kinda bad telling her I'm not sure about letting her see my blog, but at the same I wonder why she'd want to see it anyway when she doesn't really take an interest anywhere else in my life. When she does take an interest, she does good. Like the one time I told her I sing karaoke on singsnap.com and she made a profile and left comments on almost every recording I made. LOL! (Then she showed my singsnap profile to several family members...jeez louise.) I mean, she knows some stuff about my past, and nothing would probably surprise her that much anyway. I mean she didn't fly off the handle when my brother Paul admitted he's an agnostic. Also, she just broke up with her boyfriend for the gazillionth time and she's saying it's for good this time. I think she's beginning to feel lonely and out of touch. I think she may be trying to reach out.
On the otherhand, I kinda like being able to say words like "ass" on my blog w/o getting any lip and I also like that I can share my deepest, darkest stuff here as well....yeah, I know...saying "ass" is kinda trivial, but it's my blog and I spend many hours in kiddy land where the word "ass" is not allowed. The thing is though....I don't share much of this stuff with anyone in my real life. Should I open this door? Should I let my Mom be the first family member that follows my blog? Really needing some guidance here. Of course I would delete this post before letting her see the blog....I'm not mean. lol What would you guys do?
Saving My Life
Anything I post on here about PCOS or any other condition, is general information or information I've accumulated in my experience having PCOS or other conditions. I'm not a doctor, so nothing I say should EVER take place of a real diagnosis from your doctor. My eating plan described on this blog is one I've made for myself and I'm constantly changing it according to my body's needs.
Hmm...good question ! For what it's worth I share my blogs, Facebook and Twitter with my husband and my whole family, and it has never caused a problem. My mom has Dementia and does not even know what a keyboard is, let alone a computer or the internet. She and I never had a close relationship ( we are just very different people) , but I think it would be kind of fun to have her read my blog to see who I am. Good thing with blogs is you can set comments to be approved before they appear to the world, so it could give you a degree of control. If she is like most mom's, she will visit, read for a while and then kind of get sidetracked with other things and forget about your blog.If you feel that your mom is one of the major causes of stress in your life, I would decline showing her your blog, otherwise go for it !
ReplyDeleteI let my dad read my blog...sure that means there is some content that I knew in advance that I would really be discussing too openly...a few big skeletons in the closet, some root cause issues pointing towards parents and parenting, etc.
ReplyDeleteYou'll always be their kid no matter how old and independent you are, but I always hope that they want you to be their grown-up, independent kid that has their own life and issues to deal with now.
In short, they should understand and accept whatever content you have.
Though my dad and brother read my blog, they've never left any comments...ever. I don't necessarily know why, but they haven't. I guess they know that I'd appreciate my space too.
hey Kim- I don't care for Steel Cut Oats- I've tried it in the crock pot and on the stove but it smells like a bunny cage to me so I have not yet tried it the baked way. LOL I use rolled oats (not instant) for the baked oatmeal recipe- which is listed in the recipe section of my blog. If you make it let me know! :) ENJOY!
ReplyDeleteLots of stuff here today. First of all, start your own pretend blog for mom. Just put really sweet, kind things on it and always, ALWAYS attribute all your success to having been born her daughter. Call the blog, I-Owe-it ALL-2 My-mom. blogspot.whatever.
ReplyDeleteThen and only then, give her the address.
My mom reads my blog and laughs. She might not laugh if I were more honest.
Also thanks for all those comments last night. I was having a big laugh reading them. Then I got to the lymphedema part and forgot that you had lymphedema. You definitely -- if you have insurance, should get REID sleeves.
http://www.noblemed.com/rsleeve.htm
does your lymphedema ever ache or hurt? Do you get a lot of swelling? If so, these thing help so much especially at night. Plus as you can see by the photos, they are really incredibly sexy garments.
@Incredible- Thanks for the perspective and you're probably right about her getting sidetracked after while. lol
ReplyDelete@Kyle- Thanks for the feedback. I had not even really thought about the aspect that you mentioned in your second paragraph...sometimes I forget I'm close to 30. lol
@TJ-I will be making your recipe very soon. Thanks for the feedback about steel cut oats. I have tons of them and need to start eating them. lol
@POD- Deary, you crack me up. lol! I really like your idea. I'm glad my comments gave you a good chuckle. Don't we all need it? Besides, It's only fair I repay some of the laughter you've brought me. Honestly, on some of my roughest days I go over to your blog and it's instant stress relief/ comic relief. lol :)
Oh btw POD, my lymphedema doesn't ache but it is sensative to pressure. My swelling is bad...my legs are distorted. They've been this way since I was pregnant w/ my son. I don't know what happened during my pregnancy, but it made my lymphedema a gazillion times worse. I went through compression therapy and all that jazz. It helped enough so I could be fitted for compression socks (that's how bad it was), but I am very claustrophobic and for some reason compression wrapping sends me into claustrophobia...I know that sounds stupid. My husband used to distract me w/ video games while he'd wrap my legs b/c I'd burst into tears at the mere thought of my legs being bound. lol I'm gonna have to look at the sleeves..sounds like a good product. :) Thanks for the info.
ReplyDeleteI'm with pod.
ReplyDeleteMy daughter has a blog now, and it is totally hers...even though she is only 16.
I let her be her and always will.
I don't give my blog out to people for whom I would have to sensor my content. That means my mom...and a few other people.
I think you should indeed create a blog with only sweet and kind things to say, update it once a week...and occasionally throw a little something out there you would like your mom to know but couldn't say in a more direct way...
HOw passive aggressive is this? Very.
But when dealing with the passive aggressive, it would never do to be aggressive....or passive.
Chris, I'm cracking up. lol I love the last sentence of your comment. I was thinking, "How does she know that my mom's passive agressive???" She is...or was...not really sure since she and I are not very close anymore. (sigh) I'm still thinking on this...not sure what I'll do. My husband did make the point that she is reaching out which is a rare thing. I dunno. I've got time...why rush it. lol
ReplyDeletehow did I know your mom is passive aggressive..hmmm...you tell her multiple times that you blog. But she doesn't come by.
ReplyDeleteThen she pretends you didn't tell her. Now that you are successful she wants to come by. But you know that your mother is critical by nature or you wouldn't have said "I don't want to have to censor myself'.
That tells me that when you speak to your mother, you censor yourself for fear of what she may say which would probably and usually is critical?
Am I wrong?
Your mom is queen of back handed compliments. but if you say 'something'. She says you are too sensitive.
am I wrong?
classicly passive aggressive.
I have spent my life studying people.
This was my gramma in a nutshell.
My mom is critical by nature. lol. I mean she can encourage and she can also be a fan, but she is very skeptical about everything. With my mom, I'm not sure if I really censor myself as much as she just doesn't know me b/c she spends very little time with me. She's not queen of backhanded comments, but she definitely criticizes when she's grumpy. It can be really frustrating. My grandmother is the one who's great with backhanded comments...she's so good at it that you don't even realize she criticized you until hours later. lol. That's my dad's mom though. Once upon a time she used to say I'm too sensative, but she hasn't said that in years...not sure why. It might be b/c I'm not that sensative anymore or she just bewares of saying what she's thinking. I actually find out from other family members later that she's been talking about me. She was always passive agressive in the sense, I didn't realize how much damage she did to me until I moved away from my parents. I was always focused on how my dad treated me and her b/c she was always in a victim state. Now that I look back, I see the things she did wrong and how she damaged me. She never apologized for any of it either. My dad apologized and I guess that's why we were able to start the healing process. My mom and I never really did. She always told me the reason she couldn't spend time with me when I was little is b/c my dad kept her from it. While that was true in a lot of ways, we definitely could have made up for lost time after my parents got divorced. Instead, she got a boyfriend and made a busy life for herself that rarely includes her family. She's babysat my son maybe 5 times since he's been born. He turned 3 on Valentine's Day. So..that let's ya know how involved she is. Her telling me it was my dad's fault was very passive agressive. I believed her and didn't even second think that she'd have a hand in it. She was good at always being the victim. To her credit, she was a victim for a long time so i can understand why she did what she did, but I still have a hard time with the fact she made me her friend throughout her marriage b/c she was afraid to talk to anyone else, but then when she gets out of her marriage she just ditched me. All that damage done from me knowing too much and I didn't even get to have a mother after it was all over with. That's probably the only baggage I have left....I don't let it rule me though. I rarely even think about it, but it is one of those things that still hurts when I do think about.
ReplyDelete