Saving My Life

Anything I post on here about PCOS or any other condition, is general information or information I've accumulated in my experience having PCOS or other conditions. I'm not a doctor, so nothing I say should EVER take place of a real diagnosis from your doctor. My eating plan described on this blog is one I've made for myself and I'm constantly changing it according to my body's needs.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Trying Again Like It's the First Time

Hi, my name is Kim and I am food-aholic. They say the first step in solving a problem is admitting you have a problem. So...there ya go, I am fat...very fat and I'm going to die at an early age if I do not do something about it. I haven't been at a healthy weight since I was a toddler. I have been on almost every diet imaginable. As a matter of fact, my first job was at Jenny Craig. Most people assume that fat people know very little about healthy eating or healthy living...which may be true for some people, but any fat person that has been fat for a long length of time usually has a great deal of knowledge about healthy eating because they've usually tried many diets. It is the bad behaviors that create the trouble for us....also bad genes. In my case I have many factors working against me. I could sit here and tell you about how my dad used to make me bring him the scale to weigh me once a week and how it made me panic. I could tell you how he used to hide cookies from me so I wouldn't eat them, while the rest of my family would indulge secretly. I could tell you that I wasn't told I was very pretty very often at all when I was young....the only time I'd get compliments is when I'd lose weight. I could tell you that almost 4 years ago I was diagnosed with Polycistic Ovary Syndrome and it's the reason I'm fat. I could tell you that I hate the attention from men I receive when I am skinnier.  I could come up with so many reasons why I'm fat and tell you no reasons why it matters at the end of the day because I am still fat and the excuses do not change it. I have forgiven and forgotten my trespassers. I have a healthy self esteem and I do not think I'm ugly. I have PCOS, but I know there are things I could be doing to combat the effects of having it. I just need to do it. I have not tried to lose weight steadily in several years now and I have gained a massive amount of weight.
    Many women are unaware of a condition called polycistic ovary syndrome. It affects 5% of women and is the chief cause of infertility amongst women. It often goes undiagnosed for a long period of time.  PCOS is a common disorder in women in which the ovaries produce an excess amount of male hormones (androgens). Symptoms of PCOS include irregular or no periods, acne, obesity and excess hair growth. This disorder often prevents ovulation, leading to infertility. Insulin resistance is a condition that is often linked with PCOS (in which I have). Insulin resistance is the body's inability to respond to and use the insulin it produces. Insulin resistance may be linked to obesity, hypertension, and high levels of fat in the blood. Basically I have too much insulin. My body is not very sensative to it anymore. Insulin is what helps your body turn sugar into energy. Since my body is not very sensative to my insulin, the sugar that I take in goes into my cells and is turned straight into fat....eventually it will turn into Type II Diabetes. I gain weight very easily and can gain large amounts very fast. I never understood why I would lose weight and my body would stop losing and never seem to get over the plateau. Every diet ended with frustration and me quitting...which wasn't a good thing. When I was diagnosed with PCOS, I was pregnant with my son and I almost miscarried him b/c of this condition. I now know that with exercise, lower intake of carbs and sugar, and taking the right medicine or supplements can help control this condition. This blog will serve as a food log, weight loss tracker, recipe holder, feeling/behavior diary, a way to keep me accountable through other bloggers, and information about PCOS. Let's get the ball rolling! (sigh) urgh.


  1. Kim;
    You know, 68% of Americans are now overweight. You're part of the majority. Whatever reasons we've gained weight or had struggles, the fact that we're all gaining is a sign of our life. If I didn't force myself to workout every day (trying to lose 50 pounds), I'd have a day that includes sleeping, getting up, having breakfast, walking to my other room to sit and type (work from home) for the day and then making supper and cleaning up, sitting down to watch TV and go online. We have no more farming chores, or need to walk distances, or even heavy housework like hand washing dishes or cooking from scratch. I figure America will get around to finally "getting" it now. It's like smoking. I grew up in the 60s/70s and everyone smoked and all smokers had priority. They could smoke on planes, in hospitals, all restaurants...We finally had enough people dying of cancer and emphysema that it became a socially stigmatized thing and then there were huge taxes on cigarettes and public service announcements, etc. We're to the point where food industry is finally getting that they could sell to more people if they could say it has no corn syrup or no trans fats or no sugar... Eventually, food will be so engineered that it'll be healthy and so nasty we won't be interested in eating. I suppose that's why taking it into our own hands like you plan to do with whole foods--brilliant. That's truly the way to go. Just feed your engine the healthy gas instead of the kind that makes you stall out. I really think you're totally ready. You sound very centered, very clear, and very determined. I suspect in other areas of your life, when you wanted to do something--you got it done. This is just another one of those things and you'll get it done. I'm rooting for you and with you.

  2. It's so true what you said. My life does consist of sleeping, eating, homeschooling my daughter, cleaning, cooking, and chauffering. I live out in the country by a main road so I have no good place to walk. I would love to commute by bicycle or walking but there's no way. Most of the work has been taken out of life. You also helped me have a little revelation. You said "I suspect in other areas of your life, when you wanted to do something--you got it done." I started thinking about this and came to this conclusion. I NEVER finish the big things. If it's helping other people, being there for my family, putting together a history fair for homeschoolers...I'm your lady. When it comes to myself, I never see the importance of finishing what I start. I wonder why that is? I think maybe I've been to lazy and I haven't loved myself enough to care...but in the process life is passing me by. Hopefully I'll make it this time. :) Thanks for the's very helpful. Keep it comin. lol

  3. Thank you so much for your comment today! I've never heard of insulin resistant before but I'm convinced after doing some reading about it...that is what I had.

    Can't wait to read more of your entries.