Saving My Life

Anything I post on here about PCOS or any other condition, is general information or information I've accumulated in my experience having PCOS or other conditions. I'm not a doctor, so nothing I say should EVER take place of a real diagnosis from your doctor. My eating plan described on this blog is one I've made for myself and I'm constantly changing it according to my body's needs.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Wow Guys! Thanks!

Ok, so I am taking tonight off so I can look at all these websites and figure out which one I want to use. Thanks for all the suggestions guys! I wasn't expecting so much response...that's what I need. Oh, and now I want a Bodybugg btw. lol Oh, I'm still a non smoker...just in case you're wondering. :) It's really strange how Chantix works. Before when I'd quit I still liked the smell of smoke and I could smell it on my husband but not terribly. I can smell it through his pores even when he's freshly showered....whoa. This Chantix stuff is no joke people. It heightens the stench of cigarettes...it's very strange. Even my friends never knew I smoked...I know this for sure b/c the ones I told were very surprised that I didn't smell like it. Well, if those friends took Chantix I'll bet they could smell a smoker from a mile away...perfumed, down wind smoker or not. Oh, btw, I'm still in a huge amount of pain. I'm beginning to think it's something other than my TMJ. I went to the dentist today and he couldn't see anything so he's sending me to the root canal guy. ugh. Anyway, I think I'm going to spend the next couple of days getting my blueprint laid out for the next leg of this journey. I really feel like that's what this is. Something has changed. I'm not on the appetite supressants and I'm not smoking. I'm dressing up, fixing my hair, wearing makeup, doing my nails, (haven't fixed myself up consistantly like this since I gave birth to my daughter back in 2000) giving my opinions, showing my feelings for once in my life w/o being so concerned with the consequences. The strange thing is, I think I've gained a few pounds back, but I'm not concerned b/c I feel like I'm in control. I've not once felt out of control.....this is a strange feeling to me. It's like, I know I quit smoking and a few pounds could be expected....and I'm not beating myself up for it. I gave myself permission and now I'm reigning myself in and it's all out of sheer L-O-V-E for myself and not fear. Wow. So, I think I've reached....some mark...I'm not sure what it is, but I'm coming into my own, realizing who I am and feeling great about it in spite of the bad stuff. This is huge for me. I am in control of myself...never thought I could say it much less believe it. Pretty cool. Now, I need to get my ass back in gear and lose some more weight and get to exercising. Now I just need the extra push and a pinch of motivation since I'm in so much pain. ugh.☺☺☺
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7 comments:

  1. ChristineTuesday, May 18, 2010

    huh. glad you are still smoke free. Hope you get all the info you need and find the right website for you. Have a great night kIm.

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  2. PJ GeekWednesday, May 19, 2010

    Hey kim , glad you are having luck with the Chantix. I just went back and read your therapy post..the photo taking and the movie and music and pjs..my kind of therapy. I wanted to share with you that during this weight loss journey of mine, Tmj became a big issue. The way I reason it is this. Since I don't have the immediate gratification / stress relief of eating whatever I want and since I'm not taking care of all those feelings with food, that I'm actually full of and feeling feelings. I'm grinding my teeth like crazy. I'm eating food in my dreams that I choose not to have when awake . Sometimes I wake up from dreams chewing like crazy. My dentist made me an NTI which is a little clip that goes on my front teeth while I sleep so my teeth can't grind. I also have a prescription for valium and still sometimes have to use it. Not sure if you already have these, but just wanted to share my tmj woes. I'd rather feel the feelings and not be eating the junk, so the TMJ is a good reminder to me when it flares up of how really stressed I am and how far I've come.

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  3. PJ GeekWednesday, May 19, 2010

    Oh yeah, I wanted to add. I like spark people and calorie king and look up stuff quite a bit. But I am old fashioned. For me, Calorie counting book and journals. The calorie king has a really good calorie counter I got at a borders, but I have several spread out around the house. I write down my top most used foods on a calorie list , so I don't have to look those up again. I HAVE to count calories, because it really takes me eating the right balance of calories to lose weight. Good luck

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  4. LeviWednesday, May 19, 2010

    Good you were successful with quitting the tabaccy, Cracky.
    Nasty.
    (I used to smoke, I know.)

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  5. KyleWednesday, May 19, 2010

    Very refreshing to see your post...so happy you are turning the corner for yourself...and so so proud you remain an ex-smoker...go Kim!

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  6. Tami@NutmegNotebookWednesday, May 19, 2010

    I hope you get to the bottom on the pain. I am so glad you are doing good things for yourself and moving forward.

    Wishing you well in the days ahead.

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  7. KimWednesday, May 19, 2010

    Thanks guys! I appreciate all the support and encouragement. :)

    ReplyDelete

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